Internal Decapitation Journal Through The Pain

Internal decapitation…..Internal decapitation; there I said it. Following the death of my father many years ago my minister told me grief takes as long as it takes. Unaware of what he really meant I nodded in agreement. Now, thirty-six years later I understand. I have had many losses in my life, some small and some big and I learned quickly I couldn’t pick a day and claim I would grieve no more. It takes as long as it takes.

So, as I struggle to write about my daughters 2001 car accident I realized I am still grieving. But some may say she survived and is doing great so move on. It has taken me over 11 eleven years to even say “Internal decapitation.” The rear end impact from a drunk driver going over 82 mph caused my daughters head to go forward and back again. That snapping action missed her spinal cord by less than a millimeter. I have hidden behind the medical term “occipital dislocation.”

This Thanksgiving holiday will mark the 12th year and my heart still cries when I see her struggle to walk. There were many horrific setbacks and two major surgeries before she was released to Craig Rehab. In the process of writing her story I am beginning to heal and would like to encourage anyone who is experiencing a loss no matter how small or large to pick up a pen and open up your heart to God and let His presence guide you through the pain. Internal decapitation; and now I am working on healing my internal decapitation.

 

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